When everything is going to be as smooth as I want, my little smile is always shown on face. The pressure is declining as the whole things go as planned. However, the curve on the face is getting inflected down due to some trivial mistakes. I consider my research for the final year project is easier if compared to my friends and at the same time thank God that I don't need to handle any animal ethic procedures as my 1-year beloved subject or my hope for graduation is MRSA(Methicillin-resistant
Staphylococcus aureus), a type of bacteria. Sometimes, there is nothing wrong in procedures. Just sometimes we are not sure about our methods;sometimes we have no one to ask and Google is always the best teacher;sometimes we are careless to make an incorrect calculation;sometimes the amount of reagent used is different from standard procedure;sometimes there is electric shortage for incubator;sometimes bacteria is not growing.
There are many sometimes which make me repeatedly doing the same thing hoping to obtain the most accurate result.
There are many sometimes which squeeze up and screw my head to think of the origin of the problems.
There are many sometimes which kinked my heart. Despair, impatience and apprehension are mixed, sometimes.
Today, one of my one and the only active compounds is unintentionally splashed out. My heart is splashed out as well. There is only 0.2mg left for me to do only once for that active compound to get my result. The days and nights of the Chemistry master students spend to get that pure compound is ruined on my hand just because of my careless push to the bottle. May be I still can get again but is really heart-breaking as I know how hard to get that pure active compound.
Today, sometimes happen again. Without being inundated by the disappointment and tangled heart, I said without care "It's nothing to do with it, just let it go and hope that the only result would be accurate". Let's tomorrow's worries be left to tomorrow. At the same time, finding that the incubator where keep the bacteria is not switched on. Argh!!!!!Let's do it tomorrow,it's ok. I console myself.
However, I dragged myself to the bus-stop with despairs and very much dislike all the discrete things in research.
Lessons today, when mistakes or errors are kept repeating means we are still not learning. That's why same things are kept repeating. When things become worse, we are the first should be blamed but not the research itself. Research, repeatedly and continuously searching just like the life, repeatedly and incessantly look for something we want. Patience, much needed in carrying out a research which seems tedious, unproductive and meaningless however who knows the end?May be the answer of the research is glittering and interesting.Passion, be passionate for whatever we do, this will make a difference between job and career, study and learning.
It's ok. There is no learning or booming ideas without failure or mistakes.
Let's appreciate whatever things. What happens is always for the best.
Smiling to the problems and at the end I will make it succumb to me.
So, put back my smiling curve even if things go different from as planned.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
