Another year growing up

Today my friends ask me do I feel contented up to this age during my birthday celebration. Do I regret for the life that I have right now?

I am blessed to answer Yup I feel happy about my life and I am grateful for what I am having now though I haven't had a car, house, proper job, husband or a big amount of money in my bank account.

This is a very blissful feeling.

Throughout the years I think I am more calm and steadier.

Shits just didn't kick in without reasons and it will be fertilizers when we settle it with right attitude.

Thanks for everything. Let the wisdom grows.

My Forensic elective posting

I never ever plan to do forensic medicine as my elective, even a flash of though in my mind.
I think of palliative care, neurology under a doctor in Dubai, cardiology under an experienced doctor I knew. However, God closed each of my choice. And coincidentally, I met with a funny forensic pathologist who always joke around during classes and made the subject interesting.

Without any choices left, I went to forensic medicine praying every day that there will be no cases. So that, I will be able to avoid the most unwanted fouling strong smell of dead body.

So, sometimes (most of the time) things went to the opposite direction.

Once, someone told me if you can excel in the thing you dislike, that's only called excellent.

I was challenging myself to see autopsy every day for almost 3 weeks which everyone will show a grimace face when mentioning it.

I prayed "no case, no case, no case, no case" once I entered the hospital area until the forensic department entrance.

Every time, I saw people gathered in front- police, friends, family members. The big truck that carried the bodies always parked in front.

If I saw no people were gathering in front of forensic department, my lips would curve until the end of my cheeks. But, soon after sitting in the meeting room, there will definitely be someone came and told me:" Kin Luoi, today got cases, just come in". Seriously????

And, I remembered "that's only called excellent". (I use this as a push for myself to be proactive in my forensic medicine posting)

My friends and I joined in every teaching sessions and attend every post-mortem cases.

We saw wide variety of cases:
Skeleton ( which awed me until my jaw dropped to my chest level as by examining the skeleton we can have some ideas about the cause of death and its manner)

Road traffic accidents with multiple injuries as young as 16

Construction site accident with high impact injuries, one of it is the most bloody post-mortem that I see (Someone just lost his/her father that day)

Burnt dead body in a car accident who required to be identified

Decomposed bodies ( I told my friend I will break my own life record if I go down in the decomposed body autopsy as the smell is stringent and 10 times higher concentration of usual autopsy smell, and I break my record)

Sudden death as young as 2 months old.

Gunshot dead.

Strangulation.

Today, one pregnant mother was knocked down by a car when crossing road. I hold my breath and calm myself when seeing the little fetus was taken out of the uterus. Telling myself to be professional, learning my anatomy, learning about the wound, think about the cause of death, asking relevant question and put away my emotion first. Be fair to every case.

And, today is my last day in forensic.

End of the day, I go to have a better dinner with my friends as a celebration of our posting completion.

Then, I think of every cases I saw and I thank all the victims for the learning opportunity. And, I think about life. How worse can it be? I think about death. Life and death can be in 1 sec distance.

I think there must be a reason for everything happens. I am kind of more opened to what bad things happen in my life.

May my prayers soothe the souls.
Lessons I learn in this interesting posting:
Aging is a blessing.
Road is much more brutal than a desperate tiger.
Hatred can kill someone mercilessly
Accident has no warnings
Love life
Learning to see good things in every day even in a bad day.

And I have not regret to do forensic medicine as my elective. Some more, I admire and respect all the forensic pathologist for their dedicated contribution and their tolerance to the strong smell.

Life goes on.

2016

My resolution in 2015:
1) Treat the patients better and continue to improve my clinical skills. Don't be demotivated no matter how bad the situation is. Improve my English by learning a new word each day.
2) Join the stroke support group once per month.
3) Learn to play 3 new songs for my guitar.
4) Continue my marathon training (at least once per week). If there is chance to join 50km, do it!
5) Go travel (at least one country).
6) Always reflect myself.
7) Be positive!

2015 is a very mentally challenging year for me. More demotivated than the usual me, more unexpected things happen, more uncertain for myself. The biggest news would be the "RM2.6 billion donation" for Malaysia and the soaring inflation, Ringgit falls, making the living more challenging. 

Out of 7 goals in 2015, only one achieved: Join the stroke support group once per month.
I did join the ultramarathon but only manage to finish 42km. With the very limited holiday I have, I choose to spend my one-week holiday with my family. I don't even touch my guitar for the past 1 year (cry!!!!) I always battle the inside negative me. Sometimes, it's just so hard to be cheerful, to be positive even we know it's useless. Therefore, I want to make my new resolution in 2016!!!

2016, I want:
1) Continue joining stroke support and give my assistance the most as I can.
2) Pass step 2 CS
3) Be strong no matter what happens.
4) Earn money no matter what job I find.
5) Climb KK
6) Register for Japanese language class if no mqe
7) Jogging at least once per month
8) Learn guitar at least 1 song.

No matter how hard the life is, KinLuoi don't forget to ENJOY it!!!Be grateful to everything!!!

I wish:
1) All my family members are healthy and happy and we can have family trip as in 2015
2) All my friends are doing very well and happy!
3) All my patients I meet are strong to battle the disease and showered by family love and people around.
3) I can meet my Mr Right as I don't want to be alone forever~~~~

Lastly, I am still very lucky to have everything in my life. Thanks to all the patients I meet who always motivate me when I am feeling down. Thanks to my family and friends who always stay beside me to give supports and golden advice. 

Life may not be perfect, but it's perfect for us to meet anyone in life. Everything happens for a good reason!

GoGoGo!!!!

2015

My resolution in 2014:
1) Still 42 km full marathon. I won't give up this!
2) Give my very best to do well in study but not for the grade but to be a good doctor! (of course, USMLE should be done well as well).
3) Cannot stop learning guitar.
4) Be positive!

Out of the 4 main goals in 2014, I think I had reached what I set. 
2014 is a disaster year for Malaysia. More positive energy and love are needed for the country and also the world.
More than what I get from the goals, I think I am more steady and mature than the last younger me but at the same time I need more genuineness to face the real world.

My wishes for the coming new year:
1) All my family members are healthy and happy in their daily lives.
2) All friends and people around are doing well.
3) More positive and good news from the world.

My resolution in 2015:
1) Treat the patients better and continue to improve my clinical skills. Don't be demotivated no matter how bad the situation is. Improve my English by learning a new word each day.
2) Join the stroke support group once per month.
3) Learn to play 3 new songs for my guitar.
4) Continue my marathon training (at least once per week). If there is chance to join 50km, do it!
5) Go travel (at least one country).
6) Always reflect myself.
7) Be positive!

Welcome 2015!

End of Surgery Clerkship

What can happen in 2 months? Days in days out, hustle bustle, sun rise sun down, and time flies.

The first 2 months of clinical daily lives are spinning my head and I don't even have a time to have a mind rest. Studies, patients, exams occupied the whole brain.

However, the perspectives and feelings toward medicine also changed. 

The eventful clerkship is beyond words.

The first time I touch the real patient.

The first time I talk with the real patient and their families.

The first time I witness the real busy clinical setting.

The first time I feel life is so fragile.

The first time .....many of my first.

Nights can be terribly busy in emergency. People just have different reasons, different problems and happening nights.

I still remembered a crying old woman hold my hands and asked me what happen to her husband in ED. 

I still remember how people laughing in front of a dying man while doing CPR. 

I still remember the dilated pupils when I shone through it.

I still remember how frustrated I am.

I will never forget how many times I fail in venipuncture but the patients are still willing to let me try. 

First time, I feel the miracle after seeing the flat line having the signs of life by showing heart beats in the monitor after countless cycles of CPR until I was hypotensive and almost fainted. 

I will never forget the moment I saw a helpless man fell down from the high floor in front of me.

I was shocked but more my heart broke with the scene. No pulse, irregular breathing, the chaotic surrounding, life how can you be so fragile?

I will never forget on the autopsy table, the two cases of sudden death. Death, seems like can be in the next second.

To all the cancer fighters I meet in the wards, you all are really amazing. You teach me how precious the life is, you teach me how miracle can be with positive power.

To the first terminal-ill patient I take care, L, I will never forget you. From the first day you admitted until I see how happy you are while being discharged, my emotion waves with your condition. I don't know how many days remained but I hope the quality of your life will be superb and you did affect my lives in positive way. We may not meet in the future, but I will remember you always.

Nenek, you are just so strong! I like seeing you every morning and checked your wound sites and talking with you though most of the time you told me you forget what happen before. 

To all the patients I meet, thank you so much, there will be no better teacher as you. You are willing to talk with me, let me practise and brush up my clinical skills while you are in pain, in distress.

I will continue the spirit and do my very best to take care of the patients. Everyone lying on the hospital's beds is always somebody else's loved one, families and friends. They have their stories, futures and things to learn from. 

Thanks for everything.

Life goes on!! Love life and enjoy the hurdles. There will be no rainbow without raining :)

医院游走 小感想

如果说念书是痛苦的，压力的，前途好像不那么明确，考试像过万重山，面对激烈的竞争，时时学习如何与不同人相处；在医院游走了几个星期，尽管是多么难念，多么压力，每当看见病人身上插了不知几次的血管，小小年纪的病人，image study 上的肿瘤，所谓的“压力，痛苦”就会变得微不足道。

生命如此脆弱却又那么坚强。

If I said studying is torturing, depressing, stressful with uncertain future;countless endless exams with intensive competition, always need to learn to work with different kinds of people; After few weeks wandering in the hospital, despite how stressful how hard the study is, the countless venipuncture on the patients' fragile blood vessels, the young-aged patients, the tumors on the image studies, the pain making the "stressful and torturing study" becomes so trivial and tiny.

Life is so fragile yet so strong.

幸福

幸福不需要轰轰烈烈
越是平淡越是扎实
越经时间的考验

很多时候
人与人之间的情感
就是在平淡之中建立
而这份情感
那么简单，也那么窝心
一种会心一笑的感觉

听过看过担心过那么多事以后，
幸福是当身边的人都健康平安。
照顾好自己也是给人最幸福的最扎实的最实际的礼物。

我是幸福的，也一直希望身边的人也一起幸福，因为那样我才会幸福。
在困难的时候，有肩膀，有勇气！！

全世界加油！！！

Chapter 2.4 Transition

USMLE step 1 was over. Now is the transition from sitting in a classroom to rounding the wards and talking to the real patients. I wait for this for so long as it is always easy to doze off in the class though medical fundamental is important.

OK, I have been having TTW for 1 week but why do I choose to write today?
There is something strikes me today!

Dr Jul keeps repeating one sentence that strikes me:
What if the patient is your father/family, would you still hesitate to talk to the terrifying nurse? Would you want some quick pain regimen for your father who is moaning and crying over the pain?
WHAT IF THE PATIENT IS YOUR FAMILY? (And I think she repeats several times as try to explain/emphasize the point to us or remove our doubts in our discussion and try to make it easy to understand.)

She reminds me to treat the patient as our family. In some points, I almost forget this and she reminds me with repetition.

Other side notes:
S: Situation
B: Background
(More on observation)
A: Assessment (The interpretation of the observation)
R: recommendation

Don't be afraid to speak up for truth and for the best sake of the patient.
What will be the worst? It just didn't get right or may be just being scolded or feeling pretty uncomfortable for us. But, it may be very harmful to the patient if we didn't speak up if something doesn't feel so right.
From Dr Jul whom I like so much. A very energetic, lively, cute Dr!!

I am glad! :)

Go!KinLuoi!

随想

枯藤老树昏鸦，小桥流水人家，古道西风瘦马，夕阳西下，断肠人在天涯。
做了那么多年的异客，觉得这名句，写得太好了。

虽然也有不顺境的事，抬头望望天空，又会觉得变得微不足道。一个人的世界有多大？是大得只容得下自己，还是大得只容得下多几个人呢？

面对无法控制的事，有时除了无奈，就以事不关己来让自己好过一点。毕竟做自己能做的，才能向前，也少了一点唉声叹气，少了埋怨，少了对他人的不满。需要经过多少事学的才是善解包容，而不是冷漠呢？

生活没有完全的苦也没有完全的甜。甜是持续的动力，苦是成长的必需品，缺一不可。

Chapter 2.3 Exam

What I want to achieve in this so-called the most important exam, one of the most difficult exam in the world are:

1. Learn how to balance my life. A student's life is not only about knowledge, about exams, about scores and about how to make the future CV looked more impressive.

2. Learn how to strengthen and motivate myself. Learn how to convert the demotivating feelings into a strength.

3. Enjoy the excitement when knowing something or understanding something through the discussion with friends.

4. Cherish the moment when there are friends go through the hardship with me. We share the stress, we encourage each other, we speak out our mind and we try to settle all the problems together.

5. I don't want to let me have a chance to regret no matter how's the result. I want to do my best, do all what I can.

The result may be the most important outcome, but I think this exam expects more than that. It's not only testing the medical knowledge but also a student's mental strength and determination. An appropriate attitude that a future doctor should have.

Life is hard, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Too much of bad news recently. The losing MH370, the sinking Korea cruise ship, the departure of Karpal Singh. They are all very discouraging. Praying is the only thing that I can do and hope is always the one that keeps me going.

I registered 42km for this year Standard Chartered Marathon. And I run for everyone who doesn't give up their dreams and always want to make this world a better world.

GoGo KinLuoi!!!

Chapter 2.2 Balance. Pause.

USMLE is approaching. Nervous is ordinary. Calmness should be worried.
I don't want to have academic bulimia. I don't want to just study for exam.
As I walk longer in the pathway, I scared I forget the the very first reason of my determination of studying medicine.
Looking all the patients who came in and shared their illness with us in the class, the courtesy is beyond return.
I scared, as I walk longer in the pathway, I forget to treat a patient as a whole.
I scared, I cannot reason out the patient's chief complaint.
I scared, I forget all the physiology and basic science which is the medicine very important fundamentals.
I scared, I cannot be a good doctor.
Yes, I am scared.

As I run alone in a half marathon in March. I felt bored.
I suddenly cannot enjoy the running feel, the feel which people around run together with you.
I ended up following a very old man all the way until 20 km.
He was determined. Keep looking at his watch. Trying to reach the finishing line within the targeted time.
I tried to get the running spirit from him.
He was the only motivation in my run.

Days in, days out. There are some times we suddenly forget to think.
I don't want to be a live machine.

So, balance is important:
Nervous vs calmness
Exam vs study for knowledge
Fear vs courage
Working hard vs resting

Pause. Stopping for awhile and starting again refreshingly!

Go!Kin Luoi!

Cross over the line

There are some time I wish I could cross the line and tell anything I want to say.
But, the reality is it's hard.
Sometimes, I wish the time would stop and give me a little time to drown myself in sadness, in grief, in disappointment, to cry out loud and to adjust myself.
But, the reality is it never stops. Things around you need you to move on.
"Time flies", I suddenly understand why it flies. May be I should appreciate it.
The non-stop tick-tock in the clock tells me that life moves on. Everything is moving on.
Therefore, don't be trapped in the past, get over the circumstances and keep going on.
Time does not wait, so don't be trapped so long, don't waste time.

I wish to cross over the line but I refrain.
I could not find a better way to handle the possible consequences.
And, I don't want to handle.
If there is a line which I can safely cross, then I would.
But, there is no such line.
This is not an adventure it does not depend on courage.
I don't know.

I got thing that I don't  know how to handle.
I don't know.
One of my resolution in 2014 is to be positive.
I certainly will be.
There is something I need to get over
and I really need to.

I really don't know. Escaping is a good choice before we know exactly how to handle it. Sounds lame.

Time is a healer but also a reminder, remind you tomorrow is always a chance to be better
so don't be trapped in today.

Long sleep can have a better me.
Goodnite.

2014

My resolution in 2013:
1) Jogging at least 3 days per week and join the 42km full marathon.
2)Learning guitar.
3) Study for knowledge not for the exam n grade dun be naive anymore.


The very first goal failed as I did not jog 3 days per week and 42 km marathon. However, I did try my very best to jog at least once a week. Though I did not achieve full marathon however I did join 7 runs in 2013. Ya, I did learn guitar and at least can play some songs and just need more time to practise!! I really enjoyed my time in lectures as if I know more and more and become better and better.

2013 is not as good as I anticipated before. However, it was a year of learning be it in academy or relationship. Just be grateful for everything.

My new goals in 2014:
1) Still 42 km full marathon. I won't give up this!
2) Give my very best to do well in study but not for the grade but to be a good doctor! (of course, USMLE should be done well as well).
3) Cannot stop learning guitar.
4) Be positive!

2014, here I come!!!
Go! KinLuoi!!

Chapter 2.1 Updating

Repeated days. Repeated routines.

Thing does not always turn out as a way we want.

Just something does not go very smooth these days.

Sometimes, I feel I get lost in some ways.

But, the things around you will just keep moving on.

The people, the time, the schedule,

everything needs to keep going on.

Finding a place to escape.

Updating something good in my days.

I have a very excellent moment in neurology block with amazing lecturers.

They cooked us brownies, cookies, and the "pie in the sky".

They sent us letters before the day of our NBME exam.

They encourage us, believe in us.

They are really great!

I enjoy very much in Endocrinology.

Dr Fred's ways of teaching are very lively, active and cute.

Candies may be a trick to attract children but that's not a bad trick to live the class up.

He is very dedicated by the way.

Joining a number of runs this year. 

Running is a way to enjoy myself, to calm myself, to motivate myself.

As I always think that life is just like the running track and we all run to the same finishing line at different time.

Having art in medicine last week.

Learning how to appreciate an art work.

It can be simple, profound or complicated.

Just depends on the ways we interpret it.

Everything around can be art.

~6 months to read a book~

All the quotes below are from "How Doctors Think" by Jerome Groopman. This book took me 6 months to finish reading and digest it. Just want to jot down some sentences which catch my eyes while reading. Hoping that I manage to read other books which soothe my mind and give me a sense of tranquility inside.

Here are the following sentences copied:

The great danger is that you stop caring. The goal of each day and each night was simply to clear the desks, rather than to deliberately and expertly care for those who needed care and reassure those who did not.

The hardest thing about being a doctor is that you learn best from your mistakes, mistakes made on living people.

Most errors are mistakes in thinking. and part of what causes these cognitive errors is our inner feelings, feelings we do not readily admit to and often don't even recognize.

The perfect is the enemy of good.

If he recommends a procedure,patients can ask why,what might be found,with what probability, and , importantly, how much difference it will make to find it. Some physician will be uneasy, some even angry because they may not have all the answers. Others will take the time and clearly respond to these simple, direct, reasonable questions.The kind of respond illuminates how much the doctor really knows about your case, and how much still needs to be discovered.

Just because you can't treat someone any longer for his cancer doesn't mean that you stop treating him. In fact, it is at this stage that treatment can be most challenging, how to balance therapy with medications to control pain without so narcotizing a person that he is unaware of his surroundings and unable to communicate with loved ones;how to give words of comfort while speaking the truth, acknowledging that while end is approaching, the person can still make a difference in the lives of others.

I do not know how true is it as I have not gone through my clinical years but it makes sense at certain point.

Just don't forget to have FUN!!Go go fighting!!

Chapter 2

The new chapter starts with a neurological whirlwind. I go deep into the brain, tour around this mysterious place by knowing their new names and how does the brain communicate "intrabrainally" and with the outside world. It's complicated but it's fun to learn at the same time.

Other than meeting with excellent, dedicated and professional Dr Mary Anne, Dr Mary Blue, Dr Ryugo and Dr Nicoline (They are really putting a lot of efforts to make the learning materials the best), the best part of the module is always to meet with the patient who has related disease that we learn. Today patient, Mr Poon was diagnosed with Parkinson disease in 2006. A Parkinson disease patient always has difficulty in initiating movements, problems in muscle tone, resting tremor and the disease is always progressive. The treatment is always complicated and hard to find a balance between the benefits and its side effects. I feel very grateful to Mr Poon and also his wife Mrs Poon. With physically inconvenience they are still willing to come to our school so that we can have a chance to get contact with real patient and learn better in understanding the presentation of the disease. It's really valuable for us and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice their time for other people.

The whole learning process proceeds very well, we can clearly observe the clinical presentation of parkinson disease and get the detailed medical history from Mr Poon and also his wife. We are able to understand the word "rigidity" by feeling the muscle tone. It's not easy to confront with a group of students who surround you, asking you questions, observing you while you are having a chronic disease with physical changes and emotionally unstable. But, Mr Poon who still comes with the intention that we can learn something and contribute well in the future medicine. According to her wife, he is actually emotionally unstable and may be under depression. Dr Nicoline also told us that his condition had become worse if compared with last year when she saw him.

End of the session, Mr Poon asks Dr Nicoline when does the new drug comes out and cure the disease." My colleagues will contribute their whole life to find the solution, we will always try our very best to help you". By hearing this answer, Mr Poon leaves the class with teary eyes. His wife is strong to take care of him alone. That's the power of love.

I feel really helpless but at the same time I told myself no matter what we must work hard together. In this world, at some point, we are all connected. I hope that with all the gifts given by all the generous people to me, I can contribute back to the society to help people as a way to show my appreciation.

Other than the detrimental effects of Parkinson disease brought to Mr Poon, I see the Power of LOVE today that his wife dedicates to him. I see how strong Mr Poon is, I see his generosity to help a group of medical students to learn better, he teaches me that always give something to people no matter in what kinds of situation. Thank you and thank you.

Patient is always the strong encouragement for me to keep going and to be more positive towards life.

Our body is unpredictable.

Love life.

GoGo KinLuoi!!!

Chapter 1.4

The year end holidays start with Dr Patrick farewell dinner. The night was wonderful with delicious foods, meeting with new faculty members and a touching farewell speech by Dr Patrick. Being grateful and keep going are the essence of his saying.

What I had been waiting for a long time was the Sabah trip which we had planned for a year ago. It has been a year I didn't meet my best gang in UKM. We are so close like a family, no secrets in between and can just be irrationally crazy in front of each other. We recounts the days of after graduation, sharing the tears in their first year real-life job experience, encouraging each other, giving suggestion and opinion. Taking thousand of photos within the 5 days trip. Enjoying Sabah refreshing air, non-stop talking in this 5-days journey and now I am looking forward our next year annual gathering trip!!!I miss my friends so much!!

Went back home during Raya. Drowned by family love every time I go back. Finding that my cute little nieces and nephews become taller and taller. They are simply adorable. Helping my sister to do some mural art works at her school. Meeting with my primary school teachers. The moment was great while focus painting the wall without realising the dark sky was already outside.

Doing my summer research project at Hospital UM. Working with Linda and Jintong was wonderful. Dr Patti, my supervisor for the project once wrote in the email: the best part of the experience is to see the complexity of starting a research, I will always help you to complete your project don't worry. This is the first time I feel research is useful. Though Dr Patti is on the other side of hemisphere, she taught me the significance of a research, writing proposal and IRB review and things to consider when starting a research. Meeting a lot of new faces in the hospitals with different backgrounds, talking with generous patients who agree to take part in the study, observing how hectic in the clinic. Communication between people is superb important. A lot are ahead of me to learn!!!! Patience is something very much needed in doing the research, and waiting is the routine for any administration.

Taking part in an inter-varsity physiology quiz with 400 medical students from 20 countries in Asia. It's a nice experience.

Olivia, my niece turns into 1 year old.  We had a simple celebration, eating steamboat, cake and singing happy birthday to her. Wishing her grow up happily and keep healthy.

I meet with a person who are in the deep shit owing a huge amount of money, listen to different stories about that person. No matter what, learn something from the story.

Feeling sucks as the holidays approach to the end. Balancing myself to have a good start for my second year.

Go!KinLuoi!!!

Chapter 1.3

Yeah, the great thing for today is I finished my Nephrology block and welcome the medical history for tomorrow and the first two days of next week. I am not satisfied with my test scores and feeling sorry for the dedicated lecturers Dr Jeff and Dr John (I think they don't mind as long as I know where are my mistakes,hehe :) By the way, I know medicine is such a long way to go through. By going through the road, pieces of pieces of medical myths will be put together and may be I can find a new piece.  As many of the lecturers said we need to have a strong basic in order to take good care of our future patients. So, Dear Future Patients, before meeting you all, I will brush up my medical fundamentals.

2nd great thing of today is meeting my bestie, Yoke Peng. We are so blessed as we are realizing our dreams and doing the things we like. Great to have her and lend me her ears.

Dr John sends us an email which warms my heart and like a charger that let me to move on more energetically. Dr Jeff and Dr John are such inspiring lecturers. Friendly, humble, professional, dedicated are all the characteristics of all the visiting lecturers. Love all of them!! I am so blessed to be taught by them.

Our Pugsom annual dinner will be held on next Friday. Hope everything will go smoothly and have a fun night. I am one of the members in choir team for performance hoping that we can sing well.What happens is always for the best. I believe God has her own reasons for me to meet with certain people and face some problems for just to have a better me.

Our seniors finish their USMLE Step 1 today.Congratzzz to them and the next year of now will be my turn.

OK, Life goes on~~

Today's golden adage of mine: Don't forget to have FUN along the way of life :))))

Chapter 1.2 Darkness

Malaysia GE 13 ended with the darkest sky. Phantom voters which was an unspeakable truth as my family members witnessed it and my friends were ghostbusters.I watched in front of the television that the parliament seats won by BN bounced up within several minutes. Something is wrong. Some people argued the truth about electricity shortage. With all the proven videos and photos posted by the united citizens, I believed there were cheating in our GE 13. I am very disappointed. May be in the politic world, there is no such thing called "clean" which not only happen in Malaysia. But, if we give in to this "dirty norm", there will be no hopes, no one will stand up to fight against for the right,truth and justice.

I felt very sad for all the foreign workers who were being used as political tools by all the greed-blinded politicians. Humanity is trampled down in this election. Again, the less fortune group are punched heavily by the power and money. Millions of people just want to have a simple life, proper meals and steady jobs. When a country is corrupted, the people suffer. I am blessed as I grow up in this country and therefore I want it to be better. And this is the reason I felt angry when I know that democracy is stolen in this GE. Why do we concern about who will be the country future leader?Because we all want Malaysia to be better. We love our country by not being proud of it but by criticizing it. We want to change it to a much better country than the others.

Many people told me that the world is materialistic. The right things don't always get justice. Less people want to stand up for justice because the price to pay is too costly. Look at how long all the venerable great man in the history took to fight for humanity,justice and the right things. It's not easy to be a superman. I do not care how dark or how realistic the world is, at least, I do not want my world to be dark and I strongly believe that light will be shone through as long as we never give up and always hope for the better. Just we need to work harder to make it better.

I may miss the 508 gathering due to transport problem,but thanks God I can felt the strong will of change in Malaysian. Hope everything will be fine.

Last,don't lose hope no matter what happens.

Chapter 1.1

Just want to write something out while busy with the GTS syllabus.

It's privileged to meet wonderful people in my clinic attachment especially Mr Moses who is blind. He is inspiring and teaches me that Dr-patient relationship is in an equilibrium, we need each other to help each other.

It's really honoured to meet with wonderful professors as I like everyone of them. They are dedicated in teaching and set up as an excellent role model. (I like some of them more than others hehe）

It's relaxing to sing and play guitar together. Just need to squeeze out some time to practice.

I am blessed as I can do anything I plan to do.

Going back home last holiday. Mum looked older. She told me a lot of her worries, her plans and her expectation on us. She is the most wonderful woman. It's unbearable to see her worrying face.  If we need to learn how to give, I think how to accept is also something we need to learn.By the way, I love my family so much. Hoping my plan to travel with mum for the 2nd time will be better and fix her schedule.

Going to vote for my very first time in my life on 5/5. It's thrilling and exciting. Hoping for a better Malaysia.

Knowing some of my friends are striving hard to get the chance to study medicine. They are persevere in pursuing their dreams. Always wish them the best.

Missing my good friends very much!!!!!!Hope them do well wherever they are.

Appreciate whatever we have and thanks for everything.

OK. Life goes on.