Thesis year (4)

Yeah, today marks the end of my course thesis presentation for all of my beloved friends. Our passionate lecturers prepare some presents for us as an encouragement and acknowledgement of our hard work through these four years. Top 24 presenters are chosen to accept the prizes and I truly enjoy the moment where the whole class screams and shouts loudly for the friends. We are happy. We enjoy the moment. We take photo together. Today is Biomedical Science batch 2008/2009 UKM 's last day being together in lecture hall.Suddenly, I understand why people always said studying time is the most precious moment in the life. We are always under protection and being guided by teachers, seniors and people around when we are still a student. After that, we are free to explore the world and is time to contribute something to the society. By the time, we are the one should take the responsibility to protect the next generation. Tradition inherited.

I thank all of my university lecturers and friends. These four years will remain in my memory forever.

Random scene taken while someone is presenting their result.

The moment of giving prize after the end of presentation.

Take pic with my supervisor Dr Dayang and my thesis co-fighter Seng Aik and Muin^^

Ok, let's move on!!!!
Thanks for everything and live in the moment^^

Thesis year (3)

Today my thesis result presentation comes to an end which means that a full-stop will be going to be put on my university life in UKM. Before my turn to present, my heart is pumping wildly and I look my friends and lecturers around in the hall. My friends' gestures show me good luck and all the best and through the eyes contacts I think they are saying Gambatte. Through my lecturers' face expression I think they not only want to test us but I can feel their joyous in seeing our growth. From an immature first-year student to a going-to-be contributors in society.  I calm myself by thinking to share my findings in my research instead of presenting it though the adrenaline still rushes through my body. I look at my class. Time flies.I dun have a very close relationship with my coursemates and there are many things happen between us be it good or bad. All these are memories. Our course's integrity is not as strong as other courses in my point of view. However, it seems still memorable as we are at least going through the ups and downs together for 4 years>>orientation,piles up of report, presentation, community service, being scolded by lecturer, complain together, organizing dinner, gossip people together, taunting somebody else together, wishing luck to each other, doing lab together and suffering thesis together. Little by little, bond is formed. When recall back the uni life, all the faces are there.

Friendship is pure in studying time as no one makes friend with u base on ur financial status and society status and even family background. People make friend by just only we are friend and we are all heading to the same goal. I appreciate that a lot.

I want to thank all the encouragement and applause that have been given to me today.
There are no individual victory and success. We are formed and helped by a lot of people along the way to success. I thanks to all with all my heart and I will always pray hard for everyone around wish them happy always and be strong when life is hard.

When my little own world is happy, whole world is bright together.

With it, I will always pray for the world.

随感而发

接下来，是申请奖学金的阶段了。看见大学发给我的email,没有很兴奋，因为完全被无法相信的感觉掩盖，发愣一下。那天面试后的我，心情异常轻松，因为“以后要做什么”的这个问题，一个打从一进大学就住在自己脑里的问题，飞逝而去。不是因为面试后的我知道要做什么了，而是觉得我了解自己更多了，即便申请不成功，似乎也不会彷徨了（这个要感谢interview我的三个教授，他们不但和我分享了他们自己，也从中打开我的思绪）。

在马来西亚，一般的父母不会去真正了解孩子要什么，也不会教导孩子如何去了解自己想要什么，不过会给孩子自己认为最好的给他们。所以，希望孩子成绩名列前茅，然后有个稳定的工作，找个好伴侣，过个幸福人生。然而，这个成家立业的过程里，从头到尾，孩子都需要懂自己要什么。没有目的的追求卓越，做份人云亦云的工作，会有个稳定的人生，但未必会有个想要的人生。
其实，我只是想讲只要要做的事不是伤天害理的，都值得支持，如果带有一份助人的心，那更值得骄傲。

之前听过有人说读STPM很浪费时间，不然就是很难，再来就是没有保障（不保证拿到要的科系），太危险了。通常是家境中等，拿不到matrik,才会读的先修班。我自己不觉得STPM浪费时间即使它不能保证我能拿到要的科系。当初的自己出自于挑战的心态去报读STPM，再来是要测试自己的实力毕竟觉得SPM测不出什么。到拿不到4.0的成绩而痛哭（不是因为成绩哭，而是因为知道进不了医科而哭）。值得吗？（值得，因为中六的生活令我学习不少.）起码在不断被成绩打击的两年里，stpm教导我要继续坚持，人要谦虚一点，努力一点。酸甜苦辣尝不尽 。
伤心的过程里，哥哥和我说，如果人一帆风顺，没跌倒过，那以后要和孩子讲什么故事？
桃姐里也有说，经过苦难的人，才会了解怎么去安抚受伤的人。即便苦的过程很苦,但那却值得回忆。

申请成功，如果奖学金顺利的话，证明我还需多读4年，那时也已28。连续读书读到28，值得吗？如果这是自己想要的，那是值得的。即便无法预知未来，但至少可以把握现在做想做的。人生是可以很多选择的，最重要的是，每一个阶段都要知道自己想要什么。

没有东西是属于值不值得，浪不浪费 ，每个人对于生命的价值观都不同。尊重所有坚持自己选择的人。不是所有人都能坚持。

感恩一切的安排，是好是坏，都有它的理由.感恩：）

以“一公升的眼泪”的一小段来总结这一篇：
重点在前面一小段~~~

人生，绕个路不也很好吗？

Freestyle Interview

This is an unexpected interview. The interviewers do not ask the harsh questions but I really can feel their intents of wanting to know more about me. They even show their willingness to share anything. I mean ANYTHING not only in the compound of academic questions. I just speak out what in my mind while they ask about my thinking. Instead of saying it is an interview it should be called a conversation with 3 professors.

30 minutes are allocated for each professor to interview me. They are great.

The first Professor is Dr Anne who is an expert in the field of infectious disease.
The most impressive question to be asked from her is "What is the hardest challenge u think is until now?" This question touches me instantly. My answer is" to hold tight on the things we originally want to/dream of". This is the hardest,it needs determination,I think. I asked her back the same question however she tells me how her life is. She said Life is a choice as we need to vote constantly and we are having non-stop self questioning. "What's the difference between Malaysia students n US students?" She smiles. Malaysia students are more polite and quite compared to US students. US students are fun and are very opinioning. They would like to ask a lot of questions.They are going classes with the thinking of knowing all the answers.This is the culture. They like to ask since very young. I think this the one we should learn.It is good especially on a lecture.Interaction. May be we are just a little bit of conservative. However, being polite and showing respect to the teachers are also what we've told to do since very young.It's nice to remain.

2nd is Dr Nicole who is a paediatrician in intensive care. She asked me more common question like what do I think?What types of curriculum u've been doing?But, before we start our conversation she greets me by introducing herself." Before I know you better let me talk about myself to let u know more about me". Just how open they are~~

Third is DR Juliah. She wants to know more about my perspective on matters than the previous two. She tells me the importance of attitude. It can change everything. Be fair to yourself and know what you want in your life can lead you in the future, she shares~~

Three of them are very generous to share and there is no distant feeling with them. They encourage student to ask more and they would like to be friend with students rather than teachers.

Knowing what u want is most important!!! (What I learn in today's interview~~)
Things do not always go as planned. Live in the moment with good intentions:)

Thesis Blue+A diary

Having a new finding. Is it possible my bacteria stealthily changes to other?Then make my vancomycin doesn't work?I may try next week again to make my media selective. What if the result remains the same?Vancomycin..what's possible things will happen to an unexpired antibiotic?Can it lose its antibacterial function?How come?Trying seems the only way out.

ok,during my waiting moment in my lab I eat a book entitled"The dairy of a young girl". It's really a dairy. Anne(The young girl)wrote every inside of her in her dairy. She was a Jew who forced to hide in "Secret Annex" to escape from the Nazi's caught.



Hmm,it is a telling about how a girl grew drastically within 2 years. Her thought, isolation, fears, happiness and what happened in her times were all recorded. How's the life in a confined space without stepping a single step outside?How's to tolerate with someone we dislike everyday with no choice?Here, Anne voiced out her pent-up emotion. She also mentioned her first love with a guy called Peter. How a girl's love blossoms?Anne wrote it down.Her conflict with her father,mother,sister,or everyone around made her mature. Self-reflection was one of the things she liked to do.Unfortunately, her father is the only one who survived in the Jewish slaughter by Nazi.

I was a little bored when reaching half of her diary as the life surrounded her was only the same. I am sure she would feel more tedious than I am. Thanks to the book, I seem to be more understanding about what happens in Europe around 1920's to 1945's and also what really Nazi is. We are having a same home which called The Earth.Learn from the history.

Quote learnt from the book: Nature brings solace in all troubles. (Very true, but it is what KL lacks of)

I hope I may find out the origin of my lab problem. Think!Think!THINK out of the box!!

Patience

I have not failed,I've just found 10000 ways that didn't work.(Thomas Edison)

Patience means staying with something until the end. The answers always didnt come immediately. Same thing happens because I hvnt learnt it.What's the problem to my vancomycin?I really want to know. Today is the 7th repetition and I can 95% sure that the origin of the problem is my vancomycin. However, I cannot figure out what causes this problem. Not expired, sterile apparatus,clean distilled water. It should be sterile after filtering the vancomycin. Just where it get contaminated??

What I can think is just using different source of vancomycin. I tried the new one today. Hoping an improved result for tomorrow.

I think the thing I hvnt learnt is being PATIENT.

Oh ya,today I learn a very good quote from youtube:Never let a problem to be solved becomes more important than a person to be loved.Pay attention to what matters most.

I really need some motivation.Come on,I just found 7 ways that didnt work. How patient Thomas Edison was,he found 10000 ways that didnt work.Far far more behind him.
Don't give up!!!The God wants me to learn something>>>>Patience!!!

Thanks God

I really appreciate what the God wants me to go through.Yes,I learned it and I felt the joys of getting up from falling down.

Last year, I was failed the subject,Penyakit endocrinology from A- to FAIL by UKM disciplinary panel. While retaking this subject, I was under unseen pressure as I want to get better as a way to get myself a justice.
Yes,when the result is released, I see the A for my Penyakit Endocrinology, I jump high in the world!!!Shooting out of the planet.I was over the SUN. This A is different from all the other As. It brings me lessons, it grows me up. I truly believe what happens is always for the best and also for a reason. Thank you, God.

I am so relieved!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep giggling over my A. Hooray!!!!

My beloved family,I did it n dun worry!!!!!

Hope that in my coming life, I can be stronger and stronger to face all the ups and downs. Be grateful!!!



Hmmm,I am not a Christian, but I believe there is God in the world.........

3+0.5

每一次一个大学学年的结束自己都会做个总结。第三年没来得及写，一晃就连第四年的第一学期也结束。
这篇不想带任何目的地写，没有英文没有优美句子，就想什么写什么。
谁还记得一年半里的事那么仔细呢？

第三年，因为把考试题目抄在exam slip（就为了让学弟妹有past year),被逼重考，罚款，留下不美的历史。
这件事，我做在lrt上面来回几百次，眼泪流到不懂几时停。上诉的信还要求高教部秘书帮忙检查，心力憔悴。其实最怕的也不过是怕影响奖学金。全家人很担心。。我的情绪。朋友也很担心。整件事的结果没有任何改变，每一条惩罚我都中。
事过迁境，觉得自己把事情看得太大太夸张，也只不过是件小事。每件事的发生都有原因还有上天要教我们的东西。我能够体会重考的难受，我知道身边有太多贵人，有很多疼惜我的人，我知道不完美里的完美，我知道每一样人和事我都要感恩。谢谢大学的惩罚，它让我知道做事要谨慎，让我体会无奈冤枉的感觉，当时刚好是赵明福案件重审，感觉社会的黑暗。一切都要感恩。

第一年一直到现在，唯一不变的是我还是活动活跃份子。环保，办大大小小的生活营，参大大小小的生活营，茶会，看学弟妹办活动。升学里，每次和一群昔日战友在那里暗自担心学弟妹的活动，还开什么改革大会啦，吵来吵去，酸来酸去。都退休了，我们依然热血到现在。慈青，没有退休天，因为把善事把好的种子撒开来是不能停下的，这个社会生病得太严重了，治疗是无法停止的。

第三年，疯狂打工，也增加了我的经验。promoter,卖过hotlinkpackage,巧克力（卖这个最爽了），ovaltine,黄梨，派samples.电话接线员，surveyor,face to face surveyor,家具展工作人员，cholesterol conductor,帮astro在小太阳顾小孩,都在这一年。。。

第三年，出国两次北京与台湾，那时有点象空中飞人，飞来飞去。在台湾住了一个多月，体验了地道华人生活，也体验背包旅行的真谛。值得骄傲的是，一分一毛都没和爸妈拿，他们坚持给，我坚持拒绝，叫他们相信我有追求自己要的东西的能力，不要担心，起码自己坚守了自己的原则。爸爸每次都怕我没钱用，我很感动，希望他更舍得把钱花在自己身上。
第三年，看到朋友们之间的争执，看见利益的冲突，提醒自己不要犯别人的错。没有对与错，但要懂得分对与错，目前就这样觉得，太多事无法掌控，每个人的生命功课都不同。

第四年，最离不开的也不就是论文，但活动还是离不开我。1月1号带着姐姐妈妈去岁末祝福，真的是好有意义的开始。

2012的开始，我得知慈幼的其中一位工委逝世，考完试的昨天，得知朋友的爸爸逝世。死亡是生命中的一部分，却不知道何时来袭。生命的每一刻都太化学了。祝福他们。从小就懂什么是死亡，面对失去亲人的痛会渐渐转换为思念，而这份思念不会因为时间而淡却，因为就像Mitch Albom "Tuesdays with Morrie"里说的“Death ends a life but not a relationship".我一直都很怀念阿公阿嬷，一闪而过这一篇是想到你们而写的，我真的有遗憾。所以，把握珍惜身边的每一个人，尤其是家人，这点我要好好和二姐学习。

那天去interview当part time tutor,interviewer 问我After graduation,what would u do?"If u really want to know the answer,it is I dunno".他大概会摇头到不行然后想”What’s the young people thinking now?"还好我的履历很美，他说“U are once a top student!!It is good!!"其实，殊不知我突然对我所得到的苹果突然觉得没什么意义，给我意义的也不就是完美中的不完美。那些苹果说到底也有些用啦，没有太绝对的东西。有得必有失。

我不知道以后会做什么，但却不渺茫，因为我了解知道自己，就这样。
爱情在我的故事里有一点点那些年，却在大学里空白，因为我不知道谁可以住进我的心，没有太多心思，突然会在意，也只是想到不想妈妈以后担心自己。实在是没有遇见，真的没办法，不过我有很多事想做，希望我以后真的可以好好贡献这个养育我的社会，帮它治病。

接下来，我要在课业活动上好好加油，让这四年的大学有个亮亮的句号。*Blink Blink*
觉得这一篇可以以这首歌结束。。我太喜欢孙燕姿~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~的歌啦！！！
接下来~~~~~~~~~

THESIS YEAR (2)

When everything is going to be as smooth as I want, my little smile is always shown on face. The pressure is declining as the whole things go as planned. However, the curve on the face is getting inflected down due to some trivial mistakes. I consider my research for the final year project is easier if compared to my friends and at the same time thank God that I don't need to handle any animal ethic procedures as my 1-year beloved subject or my hope for graduation is MRSA(Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), a type of bacteria. Sometimes, there is nothing wrong in procedures. Just sometimes we are not sure about our methods;sometimes we have no one to ask and Google is always the best teacher;sometimes we are careless to make an incorrect calculation;sometimes the amount of reagent used is different from standard procedure;sometimes there is electric shortage for incubator;sometimes bacteria is not growing.

There are many sometimes which make me repeatedly doing the same thing hoping to obtain the most accurate result.

There are many sometimes which squeeze up and screw my head to think of the origin of the problems.

There are many sometimes which kinked my heart. Despair, impatience and apprehension are mixed, sometimes.

Today, one of my one and the only active compounds is unintentionally splashed out. My heart is splashed out as well. There is only 0.2mg left for me to do only once for that active compound to get my result. The days and nights of the Chemistry master students spend to get that pure compound is ruined on my hand just because of my careless push to the bottle. May be I still can get again but is really heart-breaking as I know how hard to get that pure active compound.

Today, sometimes happen again. Without being inundated by the disappointment and tangled heart, I said without care "It's nothing to do with it, just let it go and hope that the only result would be accurate". Let's tomorrow's worries be left to tomorrow. At the same time, finding that the incubator where keep the bacteria is not switched on. Argh!!!!!Let's do it tomorrow,it's ok. I console myself.

However, I dragged myself to the bus-stop with despairs and very much dislike all the discrete things in research.

Lessons today, when mistakes or errors are kept repeating means we are still not learning. That's why same things are kept repeating. When things become worse, we are the first should be blamed but not the research itself. Research, repeatedly and continuously searching just like the life, repeatedly and incessantly look for something we want. Patience, much needed in carrying out a research which seems tedious, unproductive and meaningless however who knows the end?May be the answer of the research is glittering and interesting.Passion, be passionate for whatever we do, this will make a difference between job and career, study and learning.

It's ok. There is no learning or booming ideas without failure or mistakes.

Let's appreciate whatever things. What happens is always for the best.

Smiling to the problems and at the end I will make it succumb to me.

So, put back my smiling curve even if things go different from as planned.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Thesis year

After passing the thesis proposal week, piles of assignments are following..May be is myself does not give a chance to be idle. While having the stress from study, i still join quite a lot of activities if the time allowed to be. Sometimes, most people will worry about the imbalance between studies and activities. But, activities are something which alleviate my tensions,my negative thoughts and instead, it gives me strengths~~I learn to arrange time, I have no time to gossip people and I have no time to worry. The only thing that I can do is to grab the time and to be live in every moment..That's the problem which I reflect myself sometimes fearing that I will be too indifferent to the people I love and love me..However，a simple greeting and a simple encouragement like " U can do it","Gambateh" can actually lift people's days up...Do be generous in encouraging people and saying something positive~~

Today mentally rest is much needed as my brain have not been stopped to function for around 2 days to rush my case study presentation, settle thesis thingy,plan for coming assignment. I want to REST!!!Therefore, having a small gathering with my good friends from different courses. We share what we had gone through these days..For sure, THESIS is unavoidable in last year. My friends share theirs torture but at the same time it is hilarious and ludicrous to laugh. Tears are flowing down when scolded or criticized by supervisors or the office staffs very badly. Rushing to the lab to observe the results at night. Worrying about the mice when forget to feed them. Frustrating over the instruments which always cannot function well or cannot be well calibrated. Feeling upset by the complicated procedures of ordering and booking labs for overtime. Stole the lab keys at night to be able to do experiment on weekends. In the lyrics of "Stand" by Rascal Flatt,"when push come to shove,you taste what you are made of,you get mad you get strong,wipe your hands, shake it off,then you stand" are absolutely great motivation. Sometimes, we no need take things to be too harsh. Taking unnecessary criticism as a remind so that we wouldn't simply criticizing. Taking advice as improvement so that we can amend what is wrong and to be closer to the better. Be open-heart to every circumstances as it lets us grow and make our memories be iridescent...Smiles to every difficulties..When difficulties are not hindrance anymore, it means we are better than yesterday!!!!Gambateh for all my friends, and my beloved family~~~~^_^

最糟的心情

I was recalling my melancholic feeling due to my superb careless mistake during my 3rd year 1st sem final exam (copy down a question on the exam permission entry card) after coming out from the "court". The punishment given by the University Students Affair department: Fine me RM200 ,fail my subject(so, i need to resit for it )and announce my mistake to JPA, head of department, Dean and my parents~~~). But now,thanks for the incident, it raises up my tolerance, perseverance and to be more vigilant in doing something. Cheh, it is only a tiny case~~~

当时的心情是这样的~~~

那一天 眼泪就像长命雨一样

下个不停

头顶上 乌云就像大农烟一样

笼罩着我

心沉入了深海

眼前的灯熄了

耳朵听不见了

口说不出话了

双脚没有力了

神经线接受不到讯息

身体没了知觉

世界不是黑白的

只是

对它没了感觉

红尘黄绿蓝靛紫

我只看见了灰色

和我插肩的陌生人

多希望看见温暖的脸孔

来止住眼里的雨滴

从LRT的末端

雨一直下到另一端

仿佛世界和我一起沉没

不知道快铁走了多久

只知道 就想这样坐着

让雨无止境地下

疲惫的身躯告诉我

现实总会站到你面前

告诉你 是时候放晴了

尽管 你的心情糟透了

回头看这件事，真觉得自己伤心到有点夸张，而且真的只是件小事。。哈哈，我要继续努力^^

第二年

好难开始去记录第二年的点点滴滴，太多太忙，无法一一记起。。。
就从搬来setapak开始说起吧！！

大学的第一年过后，在第二年开始之前，升学辅导组就办了校园讲座。。
这个活动真的让我学习了许多，而且还经历了不同的情绪起伏。。不想记起的同时却在这段期间有很多美好回忆。。。

开学的前两天就搬进了setapak的家，和室友洗洗刷刷，就这样开始了第二年。。
或许自己的第二年都在奉献给升学，我不知道是好还是坏，毕竟，有很多自己想做的事都因为它而托延也牺牲了，同样的，却让自己在处理事情方面更加进步，抗压能力与及办事能力可以说是提高到了千百倍。不会去害怕承担责任，不会害怕东西一堆地抛在肩上。。

自己第一次当负责人的活动是推介礼。。在联络老烂瓜方面，简直是训练自己如何去和陌生人沟通，毕竟我不喜欢和陌生人讲话。。协调方面简直要让我脑爆，要考虑这个那个，这样不行那样不能，退让再退让，但，还是在大家努力下，让这活动画下完美句点。

之后是人生交叉点，也许自己有点累了，说真的并没全心全意付出。。
之后的培训营，接下了纪念品组，剪剪粘粘也就这样过了。。
接下来，沉默不是金，麻坡生活营，团员饭，新理事面试，登三记之股色股香，新理事集训，到最后的全思营，就这样占据了我的时间。。。
理事之间无数次的开会，无数次的检讨，大家之间的废话，心灵之约，让自己对这个组织从原有的一种责任感，到心甘情愿去付出，也许最大的理由是因为知道自己不是一个人。

升学是我学习的地方，但往往给我鼓励的是慈青的伙伴，其实也没有说很多鼓励的话，但是，我可以感觉到，即使时常缺席慈青活动，大家还会鼓励我，希望我好，可能和慈青伙伴有相同想法，能够有默契吧！！慈青里，参了两个camp，但是，没有太深的感觉，只是觉得还不错。。

在三月份，参了astro小太阳的camp,简单来说，它是赚钱的大好机会，可是我不喜欢这个camp..
所以，第二次第三次，再多几次，我也不会再参了。。

和室友相处的还不错，会互相讨论互相交流想法。。当然，也会有不愉快的时候，但，我觉得，可能大家性格比较随便，没有计较太多，很多东西也就平复了，希望以后还能好好相处，各自继续努力，去追求自己想要的：）

第二年，自己一直活在矛盾的思想中。。自己讨厌大学的课业，教授的教学方式，却逼着自己好好努力，尽自己所能去学习自己一直想了解的人体科学。。矛盾的思想让我越来越了解自己。。原来，我是个不容易放手的人，即使心里不断告诉自己，就这样吧，这样也很好啊，却无法控制自己心里一直抓着不放的东西。。因为`这样有时会让自己很难受，有时却会成为推动力，一直想冲出框框，一直在想着办法把框框打破，结果，我。。。还在学习努力去追求自己要的，不想被任何东西捆绑着，永远自在的做自己想的事，我不知道以后的自己会被社会框着吗，我只知道，想和别人不一样，就要加倍努力，加倍坚定，就因为困难，所以成功的伟人才会流芳百世。。。

第二年了，很多人都叫我快趁大学时期找个好的男朋友，我不反对只要看见了自己喜欢的对象就不要放弃，幸福是自己争取的道理。。可是，我的想法和好多人不同，自己很难对身边的人有感觉，也许他会出现，也也许在我生命中不会出现我的他。。不论怎样，我想过个有意义的人生，我还在寻找这条路。。。

这一年，脑海一直浮现两部连续剧，日剧：一公升的眼泪还有白色巨塔。。这两部剧告诉了我人生要以怎样的态度去面对是种选择。。选择的同时，自己内心的坚定与自信会打败所有的困难。。但是，就像我说的，要和别人不一样就得加倍努力，也许我是个喜欢挑战的人吧也不喜欢和别人一样，但，也崇拜坚持理想的人。。不喜欢听很多的理由，总觉得，不管事情如何，所有的事只有一个理由，就是自己的心。。。

我对前途很迷茫，我是个普通人，我并没有身边的人说得那样善良，那样君子，我只想做我想做的事，我喜欢看见身边的好人，在困难与坚持中微笑，可是，总觉得，好人真的有时候并没那么容易。。所以我欣赏能够坚持的人。。

我是世界的一个沉土，有些人的力量可以大得影响全球，而我没有想去影响别人的想法，因为，其实我是位懒得理别人的人，可是，好多事都需要团结的力量。。如果世上没有人会好吗？？

想成为空气，能够不用考虑，没有破坏，只需无忧无虑的付出，能高能低。。欣赏不同的风景。。。

迈向第三年，自己除了更加迷茫外，我会告诉自己，大学生年轻人地球人，我能够做很多事。。即使无法改变，起码，我要让自己更加好，做的事更多。。。。

淡淡的

淡淡的August 1st, 2009 by kinluoi
就这样
轻轻的
不知觉的
透明的颜色笔
在我生命里
上色

就这样
慢慢的
很感动的
装不完的回忆
在我思绪里
打转

就这样
淡淡的
很简单的
坐在电脑前
在空白的一面
记录

不能一一诉说
不能一一记起
却能感受
当时的感受

不能回过头
不能重播
只能这样
淡淡的去品尝

无法阻止地球转动
无法阻止细胞运作
无法改变到来的目的
无法改变这样的安排

把自己融入风中
漫无目的地遨游
和自然的第六感
加上阳光的照射

就这样
很简单的
慢慢的
去品尝

这一年

这一年May 3rd, 2009 by kinluoi
在流动的季节，忽然感觉时间的长度，匆匆流逝的每一天，你我编织着梦想。
这是一首歌的开头。很喜欢这一句。好像很简略的带出了这一年在大学里的生活。
带着梦想踏进象牙塔，后来才发现原来我还不清楚自己的未来。感觉很迷糊然后试着寻找答案寻找出路，重新诠释目标的定义。挣扎中脑细胞变得十分发达，后来用了很多哲学的句子鼓励自己，终于释怀了，金蝉脫壳。。后来明白思考的当中自己在成长着。了解把握现在的重要，了解自己很幸福的道理。身边出现的精英，刺激了自己的学习荷尔蒙，不想再全神贯注地把精力献给成绩。但还是不能不去在乎它的结果因为了解知识的重要。
矛盾，我的一位好朋友。他让我学会衡量，分析。
开始为自己的生活增添色彩，选了自己喜欢的活动。成长也从这里开始了。
未来，一个自己时常想念的朋友，好想了解他，所以得空时也为了他又开始混乱。一个在我身边的好朋友告诉我，终有一天我会了解未来，那时，我又成长了吧！
考试。到底自己是不是考试的机器呢？如果出的是历年考题，我就把自己所背的给吐出来。如果不是历年考题，就会痛骂lecturer好换不换，在今年把题目给换掉。除了喜欢探索人体，大概在其他科中找不到乐趣。。这时又会想，能够求学是一种幸福，不能放弃去了解自己能够了解明白的东西。自己有健全的身体，就是拥有最好的学习用具了，有什么好怕的呢？
开始在自己所读的科系寻找更多的出路，其实它是很不错的一科。
工作，为了活动打假期工的梦又再次破碎，太好命了，一定有机会赚外块的。
大学很快过了一年，想象学弟学妹进来的样子，大概也会有充满彷徨的脸孔。哈哈，应该是历年惯例吧！能够烦恼也是种幸福吧，因为有未来才会去烦恼阿！
虽然也会有不顺境的事，只要抬头望望天空，就会知道自己多么微不足道，所以又有什么好怕的呢？地球生了重病更需要去关切吧，如果她死掉了，我连烦恼的机会都没有了。
爱因斯坦真厉害，发现相对论。生物也有个相对论，自己无聊想出来的。其实生物也只是非生物。基因控制了生物，而C,H,O,N,,P却控制了基因，原来我们只被几个元素给控制啊。好神奇，非生物创造了生物。巴卡斯博士biochem真的很重要，你可以振作起来吗？
加油吧（为什么会是加油不是加水加盐加醋呢？语言也是个很长的故事吧）
感谢历代科学家，让我了解科学，你们花几百年做得periodic table我还记得一点，你们认真研究的theory让这个社会进步。希望做伟大的人，却发现超级不简单，想拿诺贝尔奖，好像很好笑，哈哈。。
平凡中也有精彩。。